Accept Yourself

mag.ic \ma-jik\ noun: an extraordinary power or influence seemingly from a supernatural source

I wrote this the day after I achieved one year of sobriety. It is the first entry in a very special leather-bound journal that Dixie gave me to commemorate my accomplishment. My magical moment occurred long before my one year arrived, and was the moment in which I realized that I mattered, I counted, and I had self-worth. It was the day I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time I was able to look myself in the eye. I had spent forty-one years staring past my self, unable to accept me for who I truly was. I had spent my life demanding acceptance from the world around me and had completely missed the fact that unless I accepted myself I would never get anywhere. The day I found love for Kai was the day my obsession from alcohol began to fade and was replaced with self-respect, self-love, and self-worth. It was also the day I fell to my knees, right there in rehab in my bathroom and thanked God for my life. The day I felt like his child again and knew that it was I who had removed myself from him for all of those years and not him from me. If I would have been asked to describe my most magical and spiritual moment it would not have been in a treatment facility bathroom recovering from alcohol addiction. I have come to learn that experiences like mine cannot be predicted or planned. They can only happen when you truly belive you are powerless and turn your life and will over to God. It is then and only then that the miracle will occur.

4.3.13

There comes a moment in your life when you find yourself, your “true” self. The self you were always meant to be – and in that magical moment the reaction you have can only be described as spiritual and transformational. In that moment, you rise up out of yourself as if propelled by a force more powerful than anything you have ever felt – to give yourself the most genuine, enthusiastic and well deserved standing ovation. It is in that moment you see your potential, untainted and unobstructed and you know with every molecule in your constitution and every ounce of your soul that you are now a game changer. Nothing will ever be the same again – you control the outcome, you are destined for greatness and now that you are out of your own way there is nothing to stop you from getting it. Go out and change the world, one day at a time, one step at a time, one choice at a time. -Kai

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